Bad things happen. People mean to do well, but hurt others in the process. Words are misunderstood, and actions are committed rashly. All of this can lead to varying degrees of hatred.
Many Western cultures treat the emotion of hate as a negative concept. You are supposed to love your neighbor as yourself, turn the other cheek, and let bygones be bygones. Those who create these social concepts have ulterior motives as they showcase hate as a consuming poison that must be eradicated.
Social control is the main force driving this anti-hate campaign. If you choose to control a society, for instance, then you need that society to be as complacent as possible. Hatred can lead to anger, and anger can lead to violent action, and violent action is the opposite of complacency. Thus, harboring the emotion of hatred becomes socially unacceptable and religiously immoral.
Hatred, I would argue, is a necessary emotion for human existence. Nevertheless, allowing hatred to fester in your mind and heart can lessen your quality of life and lead to excessive and unnecessary despair.
When we experience true hate, it is an immediate flow of rage that encompasses every aspect of our being. How we act as a result of our hate depends on our nature. It is best not to bottle up the rage. Likewise, letting out your wrath by hurting others or yourself can lead to negative consequences down the road. Instead you must find a balance that allows you to control how you physically and verbally act upon the emotion.
As an event occurs that causes hate to capture your body, allow yourself to truly feel that darkness inside you. Attempt to understand what is causing the hatred to rise, and verify what outside stimulus is increasing your scornful spirit.
Sometimes you will not be able to think clearly when you are in a moment of animosity, and you will only be able to understand your hatred after the fact. Nevertheless, try to give in completely to experiencing the emotion when it happens, even if you must excuse yourself out of fear of violence. Not allowing yourself to feel the hate will only increase its power over you, and make it that much harder to understand and cure.
Realize that hatred is an extreme reaction to conflict. Every action, whether internally or externally, can lead to some form of conflict within our lives. It’s part of what makes us human.
Experiencing anger from conflict gives us an opportunity to know ourselves better. For instance, if a particular action suddenly causes you to loathe another individual, examining the situation can truly determine your personal beliefs and views of individuals and society. Refusing to investigate the reasons behind your hatred wastes a life experience and can only lead to a lesser understanding of yourself.
After hitting the climax of hatred, coming down from that high should give you ample time to confront your hate. Only when you have time to understand the exact reasons behind your hatred will you be able to seek out closure and/or a remedy to cure your anger.
As long as the hatred is fresh within you it can be analyzed and removed. When you ignore your hate or refuse to confront it, then it becomes toxic bile within your system causing you to change your regular actions to accommodate your new state of hatred and intolerance.
Even if you manage to identify every reason for your hateful thoughts and every outside cause of your anger, you may not be able to find closure or a cure to alleviate the matter. Your personal beliefs and morals are your own, and you cannot force others to always play by your rules. When you cannot come to a conclusion on how to end your hatred, you can at least come to accept why something angers you and proclaim that circumstances are sometimes out of your control.
If it is a behaviorism in another person that upsets you, you could try to calmly explain to the person that his or her actions make you uncomfortable.
Choose your battles wisely. A person cannot easily change certain elements about themselves, such as their ethnicity, sexual orientation, cultural upbringing, or religious opinions. You taking the time to voice your concerns to them may alter their behaviors, true, but it could also lead to more aggression and an increase in your level of rage.
Any lingering hatred you currently possess is a sign that you have not taken the opportunity to be introspective and discover the reasons behind your rage. While this exploration may be painful at times, it is necessary to your happiness.
Allowing yourself to become consumed by anger every time a particular situation occurs will take time and energy away from the more important aspects of your life. However, you cannot live your life without hatred because you cannot live your life without conflict. Try to realize the difference between a new sting of hatred and a lingering flow of abhorrent anger.
Confronting your rage will take you one step closer to understanding the reasons behind it, as well as further your understanding of yourself as a human being. Learning to move on, even if you cannot have full closure, is sometimes the only solution. Allowing yourself to forever dwell on things you cannot change will keep you stagnant and continuously unhappy.
Focus on what you do have control over. Do not deny yourself the freedom of experiencing your thoughts and emotions, but do not allow your emotions to take away your freedom.